Friday, April 01, 2011

Update 2 on Coaches Gapmil, Cruz

IN what could be only be considered a first, two prospective coaches for the Azkals were fired before they could be hired.

According to the Philippine Football Federation, Coaches Jerry Gapmil and Antonio Banderas Cruz, who were supposed to help with the grassroots program of Philippine football were fired before they could be formally hired.

The two were endorsed by the official Consul Ant of the PFF.


“It was for conduct unbecoming of a person,” said Beigh Noang Ni, the PFF spokesperson, in an official looking communication released on April 1.

According to Ni, Coach Gapmil and AB Cruz met with team manager Dan Palami at the posh Na Ning bar in Tacloban City to discuss the terms of their employment and for the contract signing.

However, Palami had to leave for an important meeting with Asean football heads (wait for related story in site) before he could affix his signature on the contract so he just decided to bring the contracts with him.

He planned to hand the two coaches copy of the signed contract during their next scheduled meeting next week.

However, the next meeting came six days early.

“I gave them the signing bonus and it was a big mistake,” Palami said.

Coaches Gapmil and Cruz apparently celebrated too much and spent their P100,000 signing bonus on drinks at Na Ning and never left for the next 24 hours.

Jacques Palami, one of the bigwigs of the bar, joined the two coaches for the first hour but had to leave when he was fetched by a really, really pretty Hollywood actress who asked not to reveal their date or that she was in the Philippines to shoot a sequel on Jennifer's Body.

(The really, really hot actress, who doesn't want to be named, checks her car before dating Jacques Palami.)

Though they weren’t unruly, the two began acting strange 12 hours into the drinking session.

“Coach Gapmil was convinced he was a frog and he was croaking outside the bar,” one of the waiters said.
“He said he was trying to find a princess who will kiss him.”

Twenty hours in the drinking spree, Coach Cruz had two live interviews over TV Patrol and GMA news that are s expected to hit youtube soon.

In the GMA interview, he interrupted Mike Enriquez by saying, “Ey amigo, do you really speak that way or are you just wearing really, really tight briefs? Have you tried boxers?”

His GMA interview was cut to a shampoo commercial showing Angel Locsin and Phil Younghusband.

In the ABS CBN interview, he mistook Noli de Castro for Joey de Leon and told Korina Sanchez, “Salamat ho Ma’am Karen Davila for your support dahil ganito kami sa Makati…”

ABS quickly switched to “We are experiencing technical difficulties…”

Twenty-hours into the drinking spree that two began flashing all the CCTV cameras they could find in a three-block radius and 24 hours into the spree, Palami, who wanted to have a quite dinner at Na Ning, walked in on them.

Palami said half of Cruz’s head was shaved clean, while Gapmil was sleeping in the freezer with a note, “Experiencing Mongolia..”

“Hiring them was the biggest mistake in Philippine football,” said Palami, who was shaking his head in disbelief.

According to Palami, the two coaches have been working on programs and he found some of their ideas in the papers strewn on the bar. He said the early typewritten drafts about football programs looked solid but the later handwritten drafts looks strange.

He showed it to Football.cebunetwork.com and some of what the two coaches wrote were:

“Grassroots: shaved or waxed?”

“Establishment of topless women’s team to let the guys experience what the gals get when they see Neil Etheridge.”

“To raise funds, auction dates with Neil Etheridge or Phil Younghusband…”

Though the damage to the bar reached almost P100,000, Palami said it would be covered because the two coaches’ contract gives them a P100,000 signing bonus each and a one month advance of their salary.

Palami has already signed the contract before catching the two drunks, er, coaches.

Agent/Scout Seeya Ande, who negotiated for the two coaches’ contract couldn’t not be reached since she said, “I am busy watching Gullible’s Travels.”

However, one source who knows Ande (they are dating he claims) denied she was busy and said, “We’re on our way to Metrobank and she’s laughing like crazy. I don’t think there’s a second date, though, because she keeps mentioning Paul and I’m not Paul!”

For his part, Palami said “Naisahan kami..But they were gracious in accepting their pink slips. Though I think they have no idea that they were hired and fired because they have no memories of the past 24 hours.”
Palami said he is still going to ask the two to help Philippine football.

“I’ll be meeting with them again and since they forgot everything that happened. I’ll just ask them to do something else for the sport. That way, makabawi kami sa signing bonus and advance salary na binigay namin,” Palami said.

“Maybe, I’ll just ask them to put up a website for Philippine football news. I haven’t decided pa.”

7 comments:

Cebu Football » Fare Play: Coaches Gapmil, Cruz get the boot said...

[...] post was updated. Click here for updated version Filed under : UncategorizedBy Mike Limpag On April 1, 2011 At 12:16 am [...]

Chino said...

Ummm...April fool's, right? I hope!?!?

Mike Limpag said...

Chino Ssshhh...

graeme said...

Dan is the Man and we have seen him in action at the bars signing contracts on pink slips or shirts or whatever it was.

Is there any reports as to how Jacques enjoyed his date with the motor mechanic. I assume she checked Jacques for his pistons and tight rods under his hood?

manfred said...

Is this horrible tragedy true? I thought that the 2 men are heading the PFF stadium search committee who will visit today the Abellana dancing and trash can stadium. They also mentioned that the capacity should be counted by only 40 cm per ass instead of Fifa 50 centimeters per ass. Fat people should not sit in the stadium, they can join the slim down run this afternoon with instructor Mike. Have fun today.

Mike Limpag said...

Hehehe, nice one Manfred..

Update 2 on Coaches Gapmil, Cruz – Sugod News Philippines said...

[...] source: football.cebunetwork.com [...]