Fair Play: Crazy talking elevator

CAGAYAN de Oro—There’s a crazy elevator in the hotel where the media covering the PAL Interclub is staying.

Don’t get me wrong, the hotel is nice and it’s got all the modern amenities—WiFi and all. But I think it overdid the modern thingy by installing a talking elevator, which, because the lady tells you every floor you are on, shows how fast this lady elevator moves.

And, the novelty quickly wears off if you ride it for the umpteenth time and it keeps ordering the obvious:

“The doors are closing, please keep clear.” “Fifth floor.” Really? You know how to count? I answered back at the Elevator Lady one time, and I kid you not. “Overload," She shot back.

I’m serious, that exchange really happened.

“Please step out once the door opens.” After hearing for the nth time I thought of saying, “Hey I’m no idiot! I know when to step out!”

But I didn’t. Aside from not wanting to hear “Overload,” again, I also realized that sportswriters like me are as guilty of stating the obvious, aren’t we?

Here’s a very common one: “We will do our best to win the game!”

Well, anybody who wouldn’t do that has no business getting interviewed at all, right? Or do coaches really want to say, “Can’t you guys think of more interesting questions?” when they get interviewed?

That one really happened with no less than Caroline Wozniacki doing the monologue. During one post-match press con in the Australian Open, Wozniacki, who was yet to face one single question, answered all of the questions she knew were going to be fielded her way.

Then, she said how she got injured by a kangaroo during a trip to the zoo. So the headlines went, “New women’s No. 1 faces more threats from Kangaroo than field.”

When Wozniacki said it was all a joke, I think only one media outfit printed a correction.

Here’s another from DepEd: “We want to send the best team to the Palaro.”

Since the Palaro team is supposed to be made up of winners of the Cviraa, they are already composed of the region’s best, aren’t they? Unless of course, it’s the curious case of the basketball team, where the coach felt the champion team wasn’t good enough.

Hmmm, I wonder what the elevator lady thinks of that move. “Going down…”

Eh, elevator lady talks some sense, huh.

RUNNING IN CDO. I ran for 44 minutes last Wednesday afternoon, to keep my thrice-weekly running schedule. I was looking for their track oval but because I am so very poor at following directions, I ended up looking at a desolate road with sparse traffic.

A jogger passed me and I wanted to follow him, but I thought he was one of those road junkies who run 42Ks between meals so I thought the better of it. While still looking for a place to run, he passed me again, that’s when I realized he was running in loops, so I followed him (To be exactly clear, I followed his route, not his pace.)

The road run—about five loops around a one-kilometer block—had me seeing visions of a CCM finish, but, as usual, I had to stop because I was getting way too ahead of myself.

The marathon is for someone disciplined enough to train for months, not for someone who just thinks he is ready.

FOOTBALL UPDATE. I think some of the media outfits are trying too hard to come up with news regarding the Azkals that some border on the outrageous. There was one report over GMA where Mel Tiangco said Chieffy Caligdong was injured and asked whether it would affect his campaign in Mongolia.

It turned out to be nothing, just that normal clash in a hard practice involving those who really give it all every minute of practice.

Sure, Chieffy went down. But the reaction of the players around him showed that they all thought it was nothing. Jeez, is this the case of reporters trying too hard to get a story, or trying too hard to cover the Azkals, if you know what I mean.

If GMA wants a sensational report, how about asking the former PFF president what he did with the P41 million…End of column, please stop na