Playback: The April Fool's joke that pissed off Mari

Digging up my archives, I found an old article that started the rift between Pinoysoccer.com and Mari Martinez. It also led to then his abandoned plan of ordering the PFF marketing arm to search for a suitable moniker for the RP Team than the Azkals.

I posted this in the forums of Pinoysoccer.com, but the admin posted it in the news section, which in turn, got posted in the then official website of the PFF. Both sites are as dead as Martinez's career.

Here's the story:"PFF President Martinez resigns, Azkals get new kits!!"

Philippine Football Federation president Mari Martinez has stepped down from his post, just less than six months after winning a hotly-contested election against Ed Formoso and will start a new job with FIFA.

Martinez, 53, is expected to announce his formal resignation today.

“It is with deep trepidation that I tender my resignation as the president of this wonderful organization. The previous four months have been a wonderful ride,” said a prepared statement from Martinez that was to be distributed to the different media outlets today but was leaked to football.cebunetwork.com.

Though his prepared statement did not specify it, football.cebunetwork.com learned that Martinez will now head Fifa’s Committee for Lost Causes–Fifa CLC.

After hours of hard work, football.cebunetwork.com was able to confirm Martinez’s new designation from Fifa Asia spokesperson, Avril Folle.

“We were quite impressed with what he has done in so short a time for the Philippines, and Fifa believes he is the right man for the job,” Folle said.

In a recent visit to Cebu, Martinez cited, as his accomplishments, the Philippines active participation in international events, initiating talks for a senior league, unifying RP football and acknowledging the Philippines has no grassroots program.

According to Folle, among Martinez’s immediate task is to seek a permanent solution to the issue on altitude ban, verification of Romario’s 1,000 goal tally (and to verify whether he will really retire or not) and to find out whether dividing the game into four quarters, like in basketball, would be better for the game.

Meanwhile, as his last act as PFF president, Martinez has conjured a unique idea to raise awareness for the men’s national team, who has received sparse attention from the media just two months into the AFC Challenge Cup.

Martinez strongly suggested the Azkals don the very tight kits of the previous decades to “insure maximum exposure for the players.”

All players were aghast at first, but they were reassured when Martinez, Formoso and Charlie Cojuangco, in a unity walk, donned the tight kits at Roxas Boulevard.

Though unconfirmed, reports have it that their unity walk contributed greatly to Manila getting 100 percent dark during the Philippines participation of Earth Hour. A collision involving 26 cars was also attributed to the unique walk.

Martinez has also struck a deal with a major broadcast company for live telecast of the AFF Challenge Cup.

Aware that the lack of timeouts, and with the game divided in two halves instead of four quarters, hamper advertisement, Martinez has found a way around that.

The phrase, “uminom ng Alaxan, para di sumakit ang ulo nyan” will be used after every header, while the phrase, “isang malakas na sipa mula sa Red Horse” will precede every shot at goal.

“Wag mag-alala, tatayo pa rin yan basta may Viagra,” will be repeated twice if a player gets hit in his “crown jewels.”