Fair Play: And the crystal ball says, it's Brazil!!!

I CAUGHT a couple of nice (well, it depends on where you sit on the pitch) off beat stories in the 2010 World Cup.

I guess the two journalists were bored stiff of the lack of action prior to kick off, and instead of harping for the nth time who could beat who in South Africa, they focused on two stories—the vuvuzela and a ref’s language skills.


The vuvuzela is a meter-long horn commonly used in African stadiums and it blows so hard it’s hard to imagine how loud a stadium-full of them can get.

One enterprising journalist said he’d found out from a study that prolonged use of this long torotot can lead to permanent ear damage.

But that’s not all. He went on that the presence of the vuvuzela will be a boost to the African teams and could be the downfall of the Europeans.

He said European teams’ performance hinges on their ability to communicate verbally, something that will be hampered by 90,000 screaming torotots, while the Africans, because they’re fans are so noisy, don’t communicate verbally on the pitch.

I have yet to find out whether there was a vuvuzela attack on a journalist in Africa, though there were a few of them who were robbed at gunpoint.

The referee, a Brazilian, in the coming England vs. USA game is also getting some scrutiny. One intrepid blogger wrote he is mastering a few English cuss words that could be thrown his way by Wayne Rooney (who, the blog said, has been warned he could be thrown off for foul langague)—the better to know whether the players are just talking about the weather or about things his mother shouldn’t have done with his father.

That, they said, could mean English players could be at a disadvantage…in a match between England and the USA.

OK, the World Cup officially started last night and from that until July 12, we’ll have all the action to satisfy us until Brazil 2014. It’s a good thing too, the games will be aired live on a local cable channel, unlike in 2006 when the smart marketing heads at Solar Sports thought it was best to have it in pay-per-view.

PLAYING NOSTRADAMUS. Let me dust my crystal ball and see which teams will come out of the Group Stage. In Group A its France and Mexico as No. 1 and No. 2 ; Group B, Argentina and Nigeria; in Group C, England and the US; in Group D, Germany and Australia; in Group E, Holland and Cameroon; in Group F, Italy and Paraguay; in Group G, Brazil and Ivory Coast; in Group H, Spain and Switzerland.

The same crystal ball, that always see Maria Sharapova winning, also sees England and Brazil in the semis of the upper half, and Argentina and Spain in the other semis.

In the final, Dunga’s boys will beat Argentina, and Diego Maradona, who is in his first World Cup since he was forced to leave USA 94 after failing a drug test, won’t have to run butt-naked in the streets of Buenos Aires.

But I wouldn’t mind seeing England beat Brazil in the semis, and ending its 44-year wait with a victory over Spain.

Before you write that e-mail to me for writing off your teams, well it’s not my fault (It never is). Blame the crystal ball.

Besides, before you take what I wrote, seriously, let me quote the wise words of an anonymous coach who, apparently, never liked sports writers.

He said, “If you want to live the football dream, then you become a player; if you’re not good enough, you become a coach.

If you’re still not good enough, you volunteer at the club house of your favorite club; if you’re still not good enough, you become a football writer.”

Comments

Kirk Aninion said…
Rooney used to be a good player until the money got to him, bit of a shame really considering how good he can still become. Thanks for the post, it was a good read. I look forward to your next one

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