Fair Play: The Knights and Dragons of Cesafi

ONE night, I dreamt I was a Dragon. A vicious, four-legged, winged and fire-breathing 60-foot creature.

I was summoned by our leader. He was angry. Very angry. He told me I was to contact Atty. Jingo Quijano post-haste and file a case against the Cebu Eastern College for impersonating and embarrassing us Dragons.

“We’re vicious! Not minnows,” Dragon Leader bellowed, spewing fire at my direction.

“The continued use of CEC of our great name is making us the laughing stock of the mythical world,” said My Leader, who despite 18-inch canines and a forked tongue, pronounced the syllables as ably as a call center agent. (With the correct stresses even. Imagine that.)

“We’re Dragons, not wimps!!!”

He told me if Quijano was too occupied with other cases, I was to hunt the coach.

“You want me to eat him sire?”

“No, you ijit. We’re Dragons, not monsters!!!” More flames at me.

“Ambush him in public.” (I thought: How could a 60-foot monster lay an ambush?)

“Then burn off his hair, and the seat of his pants. Let the people laugh at him. That way, he’d feel how we Dragons feel!!!”

“Do whatever is necessary to stop them from using our names! Let them use Lilies, Barneys, or Sponge Bobs, I don’t care. As long as it isn’t Dragons!”

Then I woke up, and realize I was me again. (Waaa, nightmare No. 2!!!)

Anyway, what has raised the Dragons’s ire? Their pretend-brothers, the CEC Non-Dragons, lost to the University of Cebu, 159-28. Add a 100-point partida to the Non-Dragons, they still lose by a mile.

I used the word mismatch to call the game, but I think I’m wrong. It wasn’t a mismatch. You have to invent a whole new word for it.

It’s curious how a school that has a strong alumni-based basketball league has such a weak team.

Amateur baseball and softball adopt the mercy rule, which allows officials to call off a game if the other team gets ahead by more than 10 runs.

Maybe Cesafi should adopt a special mercy rule for the Non-Dragons and call off a match if the other team gets ahead by 50, even if it’s still in the first quarter.

The CEC massacre also caught the ire of the Asian College of Technology (ACT) Cyber Knights. (Knights are sometimes depicted as Dragon-slayers. Curious, eh?)

You see, ACT has been knocking on Cesafi doors to no avail. So they’re left joining fringe leagues.

“How come CEC gets to play in Cesafi and not us?” the Knights ask.

ACT can continue knocking but their coach has a better chance of becoming a fire-breathing dragon than becoming a Cesafi member.

The Cesafi is a private group and as such it can choose who to accept as members and ACT can do squat about it. Though they call themselves an association of Cebu schools, not all Cebu schools can join Cesafi.

Before Cesafi, there was the CAAA. Back in 2000, one school was getting to be bothersome that the rest of the members decided to put CAAA to pasture, form a new league, and not include that pesky school. (Of course, the official reason didn’t include any of that.)

So will ACT ever be in the Cesafi? Probably not, no matter how many teams lose by 200. The best it can do is start its own school-based league, invite all the non-Cesafi members, copy all that is right in the Cesafi, disregard the mistakes, and start playing.

Also, they shouldn’t pirate Cesafi members. That would only start a war. Besides, jumping leagues is never cool.

If ACT can’t do that. It can wait for Cesafi.

Maybe the Dragons will win a title, and Cesafi decides to accept ACT.

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