Monday, September 22, 2008

Fair Play: How Pacquiao defeated De La Hoya on Dec. 6

YES, you read it right. This is no typo error and you read it here first. 

The match is still three months away, but judging from the texts in the sports forum, it’s three months too late. 

So what better way to end the speculation than to publish results of the fight, now? This way, I can also up the ante against sports analysts. They predict. I report. 

So, like any modern-day quest for information, I scoured the Internet. And after hours of googling, I finally found this curious little website, www.futuresultsnow.com. 



This quirky site (It does exist, and I’ll bet the sports section’s latest brand new Canon Mark III camera for its existence) shows footages of future fights. It uses a lot of technical gibberish, but in a nutshell it adopts Einstein’s theory of relativity—you know the one that says touch a hot oven, a moment seems like an hour, touch a hot girl, an hour seems a moment. 

There were two options, the ad-free PPV and the ad-filled telecast for Free TV. 

I chose PPV. But after hearing local commentators’ “Greet ko lang nang hapi bertdey si Pareng Jun, yung kaibigan sa klasmeyt sa yaya ng anak…” And, “In De La Hoya’s first amateur fight, he faced a southpaw who was quite like Pacquiao, in his second amateur fight….” I knew I’d go nuts. 

So I chose the ad-filled telecast for Free TV. The 10-minute ads between rounds didn’t bother me. It’s free and I’m getting the future today. 

The switch made me miss who sung the Philippine anthem, and I only saw the middle part of the first round but I was surprised. Who was this hairless monster fighting Pacquiao? 

But commentator Larry Merchant explained, “…fans are seeing a new Golden Boy, the struggle to make the 147-lb. limit might be taking its toll…” 

Emmanuel Steward said that in the previous day’s weigh-in, De La Hoya failed to make 147 pounds in his first two tries and had to shave and wax all his body hair, including around the family jewels. They said after Oscar finally made 147, he sounded like Barry of the Bee Gees… 

Nature’s call made me miss Rounds 2 and 3 but in 4 and 5, I thought Pacquiao was beat. Every time Pacquiao started a brawl, De La Hoya had his jab. Content on scoring from the distance… Pacquiao connected with a right to the face (Not his face! A dude screamed.) but Oscar just smiled after the punch. 

At the end of Round 6, an angry Pacquiao was berating Freddie Roach between deep breaths, “You…said…he…couldn’t…” 

At the end of Round 7, Pacquiao turned to Buboy Fernandez, “Nabarag ko ’boy.” To which Fernandez said, “Wa ra na. Mas grabe pa to kulata ni Jinky nimo tong nasakpan ka...” In contrast, De La Hoya was talking to his secretary to adjust his schedule. 

Round 8 was interrupted by a message from Juday announcing Meralco has added P469 for the new special ink it uses in its bill and the results of the lotto draw. (Since this is a column, not a money-making venture, I didn’t copy the winning ticket). 

The fight finally ended in Round 9. Fearless Pacquiao ducked Oscar’s jabs, launching a counter left to the jaw and right to the kisser each time. 

Oscar smiled after each hit but a glancing left hook broke his nose and he had difficulty breathing. Furious, at 1:48 Oscar went to work Pacquiao’s head and body, and a dazed Pacman had this what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-look but as Oscar was about to finish him off, Pacquiao raised his left to block the punch but instead hit Oscar’s broken nose. 

Distracted from the accidental punch, Golden Boy ducked his head, opened his mouth to suck air and Roach, as well as half the male elected officials of the Philippines present in the arena, told and showed Pacquiao what to do—a vicious uppercut. 

Pacquiao—and the politicians—all knocked out the persons closest to them. 

Oscar later said after the knockout that he wasn’t hurt at all, he just couldn’t breathe. 

“I wanted to go on, but I didn’t know what to do,” he said.” I can’t believe it ended this way. I can’t believe I’d be reading this tomorrow.” 

(mikelimpag@gmail.com)

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